17 - Photogenesis
I didn't enjoy having my photograph taken. I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious.
This is what I would look like if I was symmetrical.
As I needed profile photos for a dating app, I decided to tackle the problem. I set up a camera with a remote shutter control button and adjacent to the camera I ran a laugh-a-second YouTube video. One of those compilations of all the funny bits.
It worked. I just sat there chuckling to myself and taking pictures as I was smiling and laughing.
In another session (2014), I posed in front of a pink background, with flash photography and acted out modelling.
Sleepy eye
Akimbo
Shampoo
Later, I actually hired a professional photographer and I had a breakthrough. I discovered that eye contact with the photographer made me smile and feel relaxed. And a breakthrough in more ways than one - I realised I may have been avoiding eye contact all my life in certain contexts. I know it is something associated with autism, and I think there is autism in my family. So possibly something connected with that. In any case it completely changed my ability to connect warmly in front of the camera.
I like the idea of self-image having elasticity. Being pliable. A lump of clay to squeeze.
Today Estelle came round and took some photos of me for her Nature Talks With Humans project press release. She is a good friend and a talented one, so that added to the ease in the situation. It felt really good!
It will be great when I finish painting my house and there are other seating photo options.
Photo by Estelle Phillips ©2025 ^
Booked a holiday yesterday with pal Alison.
This is us in Majorca 11 years ago at the Miró a Mallorca
Photo by a bystander.
Post 17 of 365
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